Friday, August 19, 2011

Long overdue

I can't believe I haven't posted since valentine's day. I was 36 weeks pregnant with Noah. It was my "critical week" as the books call it. The week in which I lost Jacob. According to the books, things were supposed to get easier for me once I passed that week. I think getting past that week was certainly a milestone, but nothing was easy until that baby boy was in my arms.

38 weeks on the day I delivered my sweet Noah Boy. I'm so grateful my doctor (and my cervix) didn't make me wait another minute. After an induction and a very short labor and delivery, Noah was born February 28th @ 2:08pm. He was 6lbs 3oz 18 1/4 inches tall. The feeling was indescribable. Relief is an understatement. I never cried when Ava was born but I was sobbing when Noah arrived. I grabbed him immediately. Nothing felt better than that warm little body.

It was so hard at first. Those first few weeks being postpardum. I would hold Noah and think this is what it would have been like. He looked exactly like Jacob and Ava when he was born. All of my babies looked so much alike. But as time has gone on, Noah has changed and developed his own little personality. He is very much Noah.

We had Paula Lovelace take pictures of Noah right after he was born. What a blessing! Paula volunteers for Now I lay me Down to Sleep, a non-profit organization of photographers who take pictures for families who aren't fortunate enough to take their babies home from the hospital. She is the only volunteer in Wichita Falls. Thank God for special people like Paula. The pictures of Jacob are all I have of him. It was only fitting to have Paula capture that special moment for us.

So here I am 6 months later! Well, almost 6 months later. Noah will be 6 months old in about 10 days. I can't even believe it. We've adjusted just like any other family would with more than one baby. It was difficult at first, but I'm getting the hang of having more than one. I get the constant comments, "its different with your second" or "that second baby...." Always rolling my eyes with the thought that Noah is actually my third. The comments especially chap me when they come from family. But I understand. They mean 2 kids at home.

Noah has brought so much joy to our lives. He is such a happy baby! He is always smiling and he LOVES his momma. He has sure soothed his momma's broken heart. I can't help but think Jacob had a hand in his brother. I often wonder if Jacob would have been white like Noah. If he would have had those blue eyes. I don't think so. Jacob was born with a full head of black hair. I think he would have had dark features like Ava. I think he would have favored Yoshi.

It melts my heart to see Ava adoring her little brother. She wakes up in the morning and the first thing she wants is her Noah Boy. She says, "She's smiling at me!" I've told her 100 times HE is a HE! lol. Its precious. She loves her brother. She also knows that she has a baby brother in heaven. We talk about Jacob all the time. She says he is in heaven with Jesus. Then she wants to read her book about Jesus. I love it. I love that she knows he is with our heavenly Father and that he loves her.