Saturday, January 8, 2011

What to do?

I've been feeling the need to get ready for Noah. But what do I do? Jacob died in my 9th month of pregnancy so I have an entire nursery decked out for a little boy. I never took the nursery down from Jacob. I just couldn't do it, then I got pregnant 4 months later. So I figured there was no sense in taking anything out because we weren't using the room anyways. I went through the closet and arranged the clothes and sorted toys. I took Jacob's personal things out like all the momentos from his funeral and personalized blankets. I took the things I made just for him and put them in a box to keep in our room. It was a difficult chore but I was finally ready for it, as ready as any mother can be, I guess. Jacob will be passing down most of his close and his nursery bedding to his little brother. I felt a little uneasy about it at first, but if we'd had another girl, she wouldn't have gotten all of ava's baby clothes and bedding also. It might be harder if Jacob had every set foot in his room, but he never even slept in his bed. We've even started calling the room "Noah's room." We always called it "Jacob's room." To make it feel like Noah's room, I made some cute letters to hang above the crib. That makes it feel like Noah's room. It feels wierd sometimes and I feel guilty. Like I'm doing out with the old, in with the new. But I've got to get ready for this baby. I haven't done a single thing until now for fear of jinxing it. This is a rediculous thought, as if preparing for a baby will make him die. God forbid I lose Noah too, I think I would want momentos from him. He deserves a room and special things. His brother and sister got them.

So, here are the letters I made for Noah:

Also, I figure I better get my scrapbooks up to date before Noah gets here because Lord knows, I won't have time with a new baby. I finished Jacob's album. Its beautiful. I put pictures from the hospital, his room, the funeral, scripture, poems and anything else I could possibly think of. Here is one page from his album:

And of course I had to get caught up on my sweet pea's album. I officially finished her 2nd year album and I am already up to Christmas 2010! I've never been this caught up before. Here is a page from miss Ava Claire's album: