Dear Jacob

I can't believe its been 13 weeks since I held your for the first and last time. I miss you so much. I finally put your picture up in my bedroom. So now every night I get to see your beautiful face instead of imagining it in my mind. We are surviving with out you. Its not much fun but we have to do what we have to do. Some days I wish I could just join you in heaven, but I know I am still needed here. I am trying to make the best I can without you. Your nursery is still ready for you. I haven't had the heart to take your letters off the wall but I know its coming. I wish I could tell you that we are all here doing well and we are happy, but I can't say that. We just miss you so much everyday. I just wanted you to know how much I love you and I've been praying that God will kiss you for me every night since I don't get to. I don't have to worry too much about you because I know you are safe and loved where you are. You are in my heart and on my mind everyday. Mommy loves you.